


stucky: a book

by tothmoon



Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Steve Rogers - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Avengers Family, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Marvel - Freeform, Modern Era, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Stucky - Freeform, stucky smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-01 22:13:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14530341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tothmoon/pseuds/tothmoon
Summary: just a bunch of one shots about the couple who deserved better; stucky.





	1. new york city

_new york city, 2018_

_bucky’s pov_

 

Ever since leaving Wakanda, it was odd being in such a bustling city like New York. It was a different type of people and sadly most weren’t too kind. To be fair, T’Challa did warn me. Being back with Steve in our hometown was a little weird, with all the big flashing screens, phones and confusing technology. I was still getting used to this iphone thing.

Steve’s groan as he sits at the steering wheel snaps me out of my thoughts.

”Damn taxi drivers!” He mumbles under his breath.

“Heyy, watch your mouth.” I say, sipping the Starbucks coffee we had gotten earlier.

“I hate driving here now. It used to be so easy!” He huffs, pouting. It’s adorable.

”Well, this isn’t world war 2 anymore, thankfully.” 

“Be careful with that coffee, Buck. I don’t want it to spill.” He finally gets the green light and we drive towards central park, where we’re set to have a picnic with Peter (Parker) and Tony. 

“You obsess about keeping this car clean.” I giggle, putting the stopper in my drink.

“I do nott, you’re being absurd.” Steve rolls his eyes a little.

”Am not. Ask Sam, you won’t even let him bring in a water bottle.”

”His always leaks, I don’t want water in the cup holders!” It’s truly precious whenever Steve gets defensive. It always takes me back to when he was this spitfire of a kid. 

I just smile at him, “Whatever you say, Stevie.”

 

 


	2. peter’s school project

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter has a project in history; to talk about world war II.

_bucky’s pov_

 

it was a calm summer afternoon in tony’s mansion. the guardians had just left, going back to space. i missed rocket, he was really funny. he would always ask for my metal arm. peter was across from me on the couch, papers and textbooks open around him.

”that looks really hard.” i say, peeking at the complicated math on his notebook.

”it’s ap calculus. it makes no sense.” he huffs. “where’s tony?”

i shrug, “no clue.”

almost on cue, tony along with pepper walk in with pizza boxes in hand.

“mister staaarrk!” peter whines.

”whaat.” he replies, setting the boxes down. “i got you pizza, you better not be complaining about being hungry.”

”this math makes no sense!” he huffs again, slamming his pencil down.

”then move onto something easier.” steve suggests, sitting down next to me.

peter sighs of defeat and puts his math away, “i have a project in history.”

”really? what on?” i take a bite of the pizza as he hands me the paper. “oh. world war two...”

”i know, boring, right?” he takes out a huge textbook, more than. 1,000 pages.

”kid. you don’t need that book.” steve laughs a little to himself, “we can tell you everything.”

”huh?” peter looks at us both, confused.

”buck and i were in the war, did you not know that?”

”nope i did not. tony, that would have been useful information!”

he just laughs, drinking his coffee.

”i was a sergeant, it’s where steve started captain america and got his super powers, good looks.” i wink at steve and he blushes. 

i get out a scrapbook full of pictures and show peter. i point to a black and white polaroid of steve before he got the serum. “that’s what mr. steve rogers barnes used to look like.”

”woaah, you were so skinny!” peter giggles.

”yeah, i thought i was the strongest kid in brooklyn. i met bucky that day, actually.”

”that is so cool…” peter says as he flips through the old photographs and brittle newspaper clippings.

steve smiles at me and i smile back.

”what if we came to your presentation?” i say. 

peter looks up from the poloroid of the day of that would be the last time i saw steve for years, “that would be awesome!”

steve picks up the small over exposed polaroid of the two of us on the train, “wow…this was so long ago..y’know after that day i never thought i’d see you again.”

i rest my head on his shoulder, looking at the smile on his face, then the empty expression on mine, “me neither...”

”what happened after?” peter asks.

”i fell off the train, loosing my arm...then i was taken by hydra and turned into the winter soldier…that was what, 1945?”

steve nods, “i didn’t see you again until 2014. you didn’t know me, but i sure as hell knew you.” he ruffles my hair and kisses my cheek.

”holy shit. that’s like…70 years.”

”yep. a long ass time.” i say.

peter keeps asking us questions, what the stark expo was like, how different the cities were, how we escaped from the hydra prison. 

telling his class everything steve and i had gone through was pretty cool. they asked to touch my metal arm, asking what it was made of and commenting on how “sick” it was. i still don’t understand these modern kids’ languages.

we took pictures with them, they explained to us a little bit about social media and all the cool singers to listen to. 

even if we barely escaped hydra’s grasp and biologically, i should be 6ft under ground, it was nice being able to be here. seeing peter boast about his “uncles” was enough to make me smile and be proud of where i had come from.


	3. sherry, baby (pt. 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1943, before the war.  
> (pre-serum steve)

_steve’s pov_

 

the bustle of all the people was a little overwhelming. if not for bucky, i would have turn right around and gone home.

”steve, you gotta keep up with me.” he says, adjusting his cap. “you’re so tiny, you’ll get run over.”

”shut up, james.”

he laughs in response. connie and bonnie are with us, too. connie had to tell her mom she was just going on a date with bucky to cover up the fact that she was with bonnie. 

“he’s right, stevie.” bonnie giggles. she just loves calling me stevie, even though i hate it.

i was trying to enjoy the night as best i could, knowing this would be the last time i would see bucky since he would be shipped out the next day. on top of that, i was hiding how much i would miss him.

i kept insisting i enlist in the war, but all he said was, “you’ll be fighting in a war, not a back alley.”

bonnie, however, knew how much bucky meant to me. she continued to pull me into their conversations, trying to get bucky to talk about me or at me. 

“buck, y’know, i think stevie would be a really good solider.” she said.

bucky just laughed, “you’re just saying that to make him feel better.”

i roll my eyes, “yeah, i asked her to say that, totally.”

we went back to watching all the wonderful technology around us. despite all the flying things to distract me, the thought of the war was at the front of my mind. 

bucky was laughing away with the girls, so i slipped off.

—

“steve, you will not fight in this war. i cannot risk a single bad thing happening to you.” bucky says to me sternly as we stand in the train station.

”bucky, i met someone. his name was abraham Erskine. he’s going to help me.”

the whistle blew and bucky stepped on the train. 

“just don’t win this war until i get there, okay?”

bucky doesn’t reply. he grabs onto the metal handle as steam begins to fill the station.

”bucky…i’m gonna miss you.”

he leans over and looks at me in the eyes, then closes them, kissing me.

i kiss back, despite the shock freezing me in my place.

”i’ll miss you too, kid.”

he walks inside the railcar and stands by the window, waving goodbye as the train leaves.

i run along the car waving and trying to hide the fact that i was crying, “bye! i promise i’ll see you soon, bucky!”

”stay safe, kid!” he shouts back, a huge grin on his face but tears in his eyes.

the train fades away down the tracks and bucky’s face disappears. 

the kiss is lingering on my lips as i stand at the end of the platform. it only made me miss him more, even though his touch and sparkling eyes had left me only minutes before.

my only hope was this experiment and all i wanted, all i needed, was to be back in bucky’s arms as soon as possible.


	4. sherry, baby (pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post-serum stevie.

_bucky’s pov_

 

 

two months.

two goddamned months without steve. i hated it. all i did was worry about him. i couldn’t stop crying about him at night. was he okay? was he in the hospital, is he hurt? 

my whole mind is on auto pilot. i’m just pulling myself along, doing what i’m supposed to and only that.

each and every day dragged on; writing letters, dealing with the bombs, the screaming and the permanent terrified looks on the other soliders faces. i hated it. i hated this. would i like it any better if steve was here? probably not. i would never want his pretty eyes to see all the ugly here. 

“there’s a new wave of soliders coming in. most of them were a part of some experiment to give them super strength.” my new friend, gabe, tells me. “we greet them today.”

”that’s cool.” i take a bite of the stalest oatmeal known to man. by now, i had gotten used to it, so i gulped it down with bitter black coffee.

”are you still all mopey? you gotta lighten up, james.” 

“i know. i’ll feel better later. just need more coffee.” it’s the excuse i use every day and gabe had already gotten sick of it.

”james! gabe! come out front, look at these dudes!” we hear timothy (dum dum, we call him) shout our names from outside the mess hall.

we look at each other then go outside and holy shit, a group of guys were standing outside talking to our unit.

i see one golden blonde sitting alone. he has this tight white tshirt on and he’s cleaning his gun.

something catches his attention and he looks up.

those eyes. i  _know_ those blue ocean eyes. 

“steve…no, no that can’t be him.” i mumble to myself.

he smiles at me, ear to ear. “hey, bucky.”

i walk over to him and just stare. he is fucking  _ripped._

”how in the everliving hell did this happen…?” i ask as my hand finds it way to his chest. 

“super solider serum.” steve replies, eyes sparkling like they used to. 

i laugh a little, “that’s a mouthful.”

as much as i try to hide it, i can’t help it. i start to cry and i hug him as tight as i can, making up for all the time i was away.

stevie’s now huge arms wrap around me, pulling me closer. “i’m here, bucky...i’m here.” he whispered. 

i heard the others snickering at me but i didn’t care. 

steve gently rubs my back, slowly rocking me back and forth to calm me down. 

“i was so worried about you.” my voice comes out so croaky, i hadn’t realized how hard i was crying.

”i know.” steve replies, lightly kissing away my tears. 

i heard disgusted gasps and footsteps shuffling away. but, again, i couldn’t give less shits. my entire world was focused on steve. he was here. 

and jesus christ, was he hot.

”i’m sorry if i’m embarassing you...” i look down.

”don’t apologize. i don’t mind one bit.” he  lifts my head up, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. “they’re all just jealous because they can’t have such a wonderful boy like you.”

“what do you mean…?”

”you think i forgot about that kiss at the train station?”

”kinda.” i giggle softly, looking up at him. 

steve just looks at me. i’m so captivated by his beauty, it’s like the world around me stopped moving. in that moment, it was just him and i. 

everything was him. i missed him and i missed brooklyn but the second i got into his arms i felt right at home. 

“steve?” i ask, breaking the silence. my head is on his chest and he’s holding me close, playing with my hair. 

”hm?”

“i love you.”

i feel him smile and his heart begins to race, “i love you, too.”

there are still people around us, working and gossiping about us.

i lift my head up and i kiss him. i let it linger. i let it last longer than the one at the station. i don’t feel rushed. 

he just feels like home and it overwhelms me. even though he looks nothing like the stevie i saw back in new york, i didn’t care. i felt safe and secure.

he pulls away slowly, as if he never wanted it to end. “i’ll love you to the end of the line, bucky barnes.”

i grin for the first time in a long time, “same goes to you, steve rogers.”


	5. i knew him.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angsty bucky trying to make sense of the man he remembered from the river.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is hella sad and depressing, so possible trigger xx
> 
> (also this doesn’t go along with the winter solider 100%)

_hydra, 2014._

 

i knew that guy.

his eyes, his hair, his voice. 

i was sat in that damned chair again, strapped up with the officers mumbling about what to do with me.

_“i’m with you to the end of the line...”_

the words echo repeatedly in my head. i stare at the grey, cold floor that i so many times had been slammed into. 

“i knew him…” i whisper. 

a hand hits hard across my cheek and stern, “shut up” spat in my face.

at this point, nothing hurts. my whole body was constantly numb. they stripped away everything i was, layer by layer. my self worth, my family…and that boy. that boy with the blonde hair. 

i was thrown into a cell, my back hitting the wall hard. the moonlight and sound of the ocean outside was the only thing accompanying me. they rarely put me in here. my mind eats itself when i’m locked in a cell, i’m too awake and too aware. i think too long and too hard. 

i would think about who i used to be and that’s the last thing hydra wanted was for me to remember anything about my past. 

just as the name of that boy was on the tip of my tongue, the sirens go off. someone was trying to break in. everyone runs in the direction to the main door, leaving me behind in my cell.

i scramble to my feet, trying to break the bars. i try to scream, but nothing comes out. an officer runs by and pushes my hard back into my corner. “do not fucking say a word!” he shouts at me.

i feel tears running down my face. i put my head in my hands, gripping my hair. i couldn’t handle this, i wanted out. the voices in my head were so loud, repeating how much of a monster i was and that i deserved to be locked away forever.

suddenly, i here footsteps coming down the hallway. 

“bucky?” a voice calls.

who’s bucky? i think, slowly crawling towards the bars, getting my face in view of the small amount of light. 

the person walks to me, then leans down. 

it’s the boy. the blue eyes, the blonde hair and the suit! the star! i know him!

”steve!” i blurt, not realizing i was still crying.

”oh my god, bucky…” he quickly breaks the bars, picking me up into his arms.

i’m sobbing now, clinging onto his shirt, “steve, steve i know you!”

his voice is soft, “shh sh, it’s okay, buck” he rubs my back, holding onto me for dear life. i hear him whisper, “what have they done to you…”

—

_tony’s mansion_

there is a fire going as i’m carried into a very nice house.

”tony, please make some tea.” i hear steve say, setting me down on the couch.

nothing is really making sense to me. i feel as if i’m floating. my eyes dart around as other people look at me worriedly.

”please give him some space.” steve speaks again, putting a blanket around my shoulders.

”bucky,” he says in a calming voice. “you’re at tony stark’s mansion. he means no harm, nor does anyone here. i promise we’re going to keep you safe.”

stark. stark, i know that name. my eyes widen and i grip steve’s hand.

”hey, hey, it’s okay shh.” steve holds me to his chest and i cry, hard. 

“i-i didn’t w-want to!” i shout through my tears. 

tony is now sitting in the living room as well, staring at me in confusion.

i look at him, “i-i’m sorry, i’m s-sorry, they made me do it!” 

steve is rocking me back and forth, trying to calm me down.

”do what?” tony asks with a tone of worry and anger.

“i-i killed t-them, i-i didn’t want t-to! they m-made me!” i repeat, crying harder and harder the more i thought about it. 

i was a fucking monster. i shake in steve’s arms as i feel his tears on the top of my head. 

tony has tears in his eyes, too. 

“bucky. what did they do to you?” he asks. 

“t-they made me!” is all i say back. 

i didn’t have my own mind. i didn’t have any say in what i did. i was their little toy to control and play with. and i obeyed them because that’s all i knew how to do.

i continue to stare blankly at nothing as steve washes my face, changes me into his clothes and as he feeds me. 

i just let him. occasionally, i’d look at him. i felt like i would get in trouble if i did anything other than stay quiet and look forward.

i was giving some grape tasting thing, and tucked into a very comfy bed. a few minutes later, i’m fast asleep.

maybe i’d get better soon.

just maybe.


	6. come away to the water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post avengers 4- steve has retired, and bucky is now captain america.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos to my bestie Lydia xx

_Brooklyn, 2020_

_Bucky’s POV_

 

Every single bone and muscle in my body ached. After the seemingly never ending battle I had with some evil guy downtown, I really felt my age growing on me.

Of course, Steve just  _had_ to pick the apartment on the very top floor of luxury penthouse complex we lived in. I asked where he got all this money and he simply replied, “retirement is lovely.”

“Fight the good fight, Buck?” The bell boy, Louis, says to me as I haul myself in the elevator.

I laugh a little, “Sure. I feel like I weigh a million pounds.”

Louis smiles and lets me off.

I walk to the door, looking down and realizing the huge red stain on my left thigh, “Huh.”

I shrug it off and walk inside, setting my gun down by the door.

Steve is sitting all cozy on the couch, reading the newspaper and drinking his earl gray tea, like he always does.

”Bucky.” He smiles, setting the paper down. He walks over to me, kissing my cheek, “Are you hurt?”

I shake my head, “Nope. Just sore.”

”That gash on your leg would say otherwise, Mr. Barnes.”

I roll my eyes playfully at him, “It’s nothing, just a mere scratch.” I wince when he touches it.

This is when Steve goes full dad mode, making tea, laying me on the couch and cleaning me up. He practically has the whole damn CVS in the pantry. 

He wraps my wound in a bandage, and it hurts like hell but i hide it so he won’t freak out. 

Steve sits down, putting my head on my lap. He gently brushes and braids my hair, “You gotta take better care of yourself out there, bear.”

”M’sorry.” I mumble sleepily. I always doze off when he brushes my hair.

He smiles fondly at me, “It’s okay. Tony and Strange stopped by today, told me to tell you hello.”

I hold onto his free hand, “How have they been?”

”Good, Aunt May has found a boyfriend, so Peter is always with Tony. It’s cute.”

I hum as a reply. Steve turns on our favorite show, Parts Unknown. It’s about this guy named Anthony Bourdain going around the world. Very soothingly show to fall asleep to. 

Steve continues to play with my hair, “How does your leg feel?”

”It hurts, Stevie.” 

He frowns, putting a hot water bottle over it. 

“Owiiiee.” I whine, tears brimming my eyes.

”No crying, lubirea mea.” He sits me up, still holding me against him. “Drink some tea.”

(‘My love’ was the only thing he knew in Romanian)

I slowly drink the tea, smiling a little.

Steve kisses my forehead, “I worry about you, angel.”

”Don’t worry.” I say softly. “I’ll always come home, I promise.”

I soon drift off to sleep, safe in Steve’s arms. 

Just like it should be.

 


	8. spirit of my silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> death with dignity - sufjan stevens.
> 
> bucky worries that steve will never love bucky for who he is, only who he was.
> 
> post-winter solider bucky, post-civil war. (also the canon that steve & bucky skyped when they were apart)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m finally on summer break so i can write longer fics!! woot woot!!

_wakanda, africa_

_2017_

_bucky’s pov_

i sit alone by the lake, looking out at the horizon as some children play behind me.

it had been four months since steve had found me again and the civil war broke out. tony still hated me and i don’t blame him. t’challa was growing to like me. shuri insisted that he understood what i had been through and that he knew i wasn’t responsible for the king’s death. he was kind enough, though, to build me a new arm since my other one was gone. tony still hadn’t apologized for that either.

the little kids were soon called away as the sun was setting. i was left with the sound of water and birds in the distance.

i liked staying out here at least during in the day. at night, it got too quiet and cold. i was lonely. 

steve had video called me yesterday, shuri calls it skype, and it was very heartwarming to see his stupid bearded face. but it also got me thinking.

would he still like me? every vision i had of steve and i was with the old me, back in the 40’s. before i was brainwashed, before i killed tony’s parents, _before i nearly killed steve himself._

everything haunts me and it hurts. 

“bucky, steve is calling you.” i hear shuri’s voice behind me.

”tell him i’ll be there in a minute.” i reply quietly. 

shuri nods and waits for me a few steps away. 

i remember when i was young and stupid, like steve. 

“y’know, i was going somewhere in life.” my voice is still quiet as i stare at the water.

shuri always listens to me, so she sits down. 

“you already know, i was a sergeant. i was a smart kid. steve…steve was smarter but gosh did that boy pick fights..” i laugh a little, thinking about all the times i had to carry him all bloody-nosed away from a bully. 

shuri smiles, “steve always talks about how you used to get him out of the fights.”

”yeah…he even got me out of hydra once…that was after he got the serum and i didn’t know it was him. he was tall and muscular, everything was different about him. but never his smile or his eyes, those will always be the same...”

shuri skips a couple rocks as the water is turned hues of orange and yellow as the sun dips below the earth.

”it’s not like me…he doesn’t know me anymore, i’m not the same as i used to be, like i was before hydra took me.”

”why should that matter?” shuri says, pulling half my hair back into a bun. 

“steve knows bucky…not the winter solider, that is all i am now.” 

she sits in front of me, “james, hydra doesn’t define you and neither does your past. what you did was never you, right?”

”right...” i whisper.

i hear footsteps behind me, but i’m too tired to look. shuri looks up briefly and mouths something.

she holds my hands, “steve will always accept you, no matter if you’re bucky or the winter solider.” she fixes my hair a little and smiles, “isn’t that right, steve?”

”of course.” two warm arms i know all too well wrap around my shoulders and i don’t make a noise, just melt into steve’s touch.

shuri smiles, “you know where to find me if you need me.” she then gets up and walks away.

”it’s a suprise to see you.” i continue looking at the water, refusing to look into his eyes. 

he kisses my cheek, pulling me close to him, “you seem upset. what’s wrong?”

”it’s nothing, stevie.” i rest my head on his chest as the fireflies begin to appear.

he plays with my hair, “bucky…i still love you as i much as i did 40 years ago. and you’re still the same, you knew me at the river, didn’t you?”

i look up and his eyes are sparkling, “i did.”

steve smiles and kisses my forehead, “then i know you’re still the same.”

i relax and take in the night as the moon appears. 

”natasha misses you.”

i giggle a little, “really? wasn’t she trying to kill me with her thighs?”

steve does one of those laughs where his head falls back, “she apologizes for that.”

i smile, but only the slightest. 

“it’ll get better, bucky.” steve says quietly. “i promise you.”


	9. kingdom come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kingdom come by the civil wars.
> 
> “run, run, run away, buy yourself another day a cold wind's whispering secrets in your ear so low only you can hear un, run, run and hide somewhere no one else can find  
> tall trees bend and lean pointing where to go  
> where you will still be all alone...”
> 
> —  
> au where steve & bucky meet at the museum they’re showcased in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really do apologize for infrequent posting haha, i’m doing two online classes for the summer and they’re killing me.  
> i see harry freaking styles on tuesday, though!!! holy shit!!

_brooklyn, 2016_

_bucky’s pov_

 

it had been a dark and lonely few years. i never knew how hard it would be trying to remember everything by myself. 

i was sat alone in my small makeshift apartment in a run down building no one used anymore. i grabbed one of my journals and looked at a picture of a boy i finally put a name to; steve rogers. i kept writing that name over and over. simply because i knew it, i knew so many memories associated with that name. 

i decided to go to a musuem i had passed once that held a suit with a star on it. i could have sworn that star belonged to steve rogers. was he dead? did he know me still? hell, how would i be able to answer those questions, i didn’t know my own name.

bringing my backpack with my journals inside, i headed to the subway station.

-

i walked inside to the cold, open building. there were many other people walking around and looking at all the things from world war two. i learned yesterday i fought in that war and i was a sergeant.

i slowly made my way through the exhibits, gawking at the suits bearing the star i could swear to god i knew. 

i added little notes to my journal; “ _the star suit is red, white and blue. the name is captain america, real name is steve rogers. steve rogers. steve. knew a girl named peggy carter. steve. peggy.”_

i kept walking, and i came to a section that was me. it was me. 

“james?” i mumbled to myself.

my name was james? 

“1910 to 1944?” i questioned again, eyes dotting around the holographic screen, my mind racing. 

i read the same line over and over and over again.

_”…and was liberated by none other than his childhood friend, Steve Rogers, now Captain America.”_

my eyes widened as clips played of the two of us. i quickly sketched steve in my notebook, trying my best to ignore the tears waiting to spill over. my questions, the simple ones, were being answered.

i write down in almost illegible handwriting; _“my name is james buchanan bucky barnes. your nickname is bucky and that is what you go by. **you know steve rogers!”**_

i put my notebook to the side of me, still clutching onto it. i feel someone come up beside me, but i’m too fixated on the words. i want to memorize them, i need to. 

“bucky was a good looking guy.” i hear a female voice say.

then a man laughs a little, “oh yeah. he got all the ladies, i was so jealous.”

”of the girls?” the lady laughs, too.

”you got me there.”

i’m too afraid to look over, so i just tuck my long hair behind my ear. i peak at my journal and write down “steve rogers” for the tenth time.

it took me a second to realize they were talking about me. 

“y’know, bucky had the prettiest eyes. he was so strong, too. i still replay that day when he fell from the train over and over…i hope he’s out there somewhere.” the man says.

”i’m sure he is, steve.”

steve.

i turn to look at them and everything slams into my head like a bomb to the ground.

_”go! leave!”_

_”no! not without you!”_

_”i’m with you to the end of the line, kid.”_

_“grab my hand!”_

those final words echo in my mind. the lady continues walking, but steve stays. 

he turns to read the part about me, and his baby blue eyes catch mine.

steve does a double take, then looks at me in disbelief. 

“steve, you coming?”

he begins to tear up, putting a hand on my cheek, “bucky…?” it barely comes out a whisper.

i take in his touch and the memories continue to pop up in my head, so vividly. it’s almost unbearably overwhemeling. 

i whisper, “i think that’s me...are you steve?”

a tear rolls down his cheek and he nods, “i…i can’t believe you’re alive.” his voice cracks and he pulls me into a hug.

i remember his arms well. i hug him back  and i begin to cry with him. i was a kid in 1945 again. i was home. i was okay. 

“stevie…i-i’m so happy to see you.” i manage to get out between quiet sobs.

steve is clinging onto me for dear life but he pulls away slightly to rest his forehead against mine.

sniffling, he says, “i have waited years…i never felt so alone without you.”

he takes off my cap and runs his fingers through my hair, holding it back a little to look at me better. 

i didn’t know how i appeared to him. a super sad guy with a metal arm? a cold hearted russian assassin? a young, brighted eyed sergeant? 

“you’re steve…” is all i can say. i’m too dumbfounded to build a proper thought.

steve laughs a little, wiping stray tears from my face, “i am.” 

“i’m sorry…” my voice comes out softer than i want it to. “i don’t remember much…”

i look up back into his eyes and they’re sparkling so beautifully. i put my hand on his face, too. the whole world seemed to stop for a while. 

after countless years of waiting, searching, praying and hoping, he was here.

”i knew you’d come back…sooner or later.” i smile a little. 

“i’ll always come back to you, bucky.”

his eyes close and soft lips gently kiss mine. i kiss back ever so softly, wanting to take in this moment as much as i could.

he lifts up slightly and i feel my cheeks heating up.

”you know how long i’ve wanted you to do that? were you trying to be all tough or somethin?” i joke.

”you’re a jerk.” steve laughs through his ear to ear smile.

“punk.” i smile, kissing him again.

-

**Author's Note:**

> man i love me some stucky and since the russo brothers wont fix it in avengers 4, only fan fiction will


End file.
